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| High-Octane Bitching |
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A monthly rant on Life as we know it: Think of it as spiritual caffeine. Please, don't forget to tip your waitress. |
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March
Hey! If you squint it almost looks like...every other blonde pop star. Hmm. |
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THIS MONTH'S JOE A R C H I V E S |
I had successfully repressed all memories of ever seeing Two of a Kind, and then here comes
this trailer for Crossroads, and the déjà vu was almost too much to bear.
What is it about blondes? In the eyes of pop culture they can do no wrong. Let us look at these two
flaxen stars, one from the childhood of my fellow Gen-Xers and one from today, two
women whose musical talents led to starring roles in Hollywood. Olivia Newton John and
Britney Spears.
Sends chills down your back, doesn't it? It doesn't have to be Britney and Olivia. It could be any two blonde stars. I stand dumbfounded by the power of peroxide. I have a theory, though: It's not that blondes are more beautiful than women of other hair colors. It's because blondes are perceived as being dumber than the rest of us, so when they show a proficiency in something, we are impressed. Take this a step further: When ANY beautiful woman shows a proficiency in something, members of the International Boy's Club are impressed. What a rare creature, to be blessed with looks AND talent! Add to that the relatively rare genetic condition of having blonde hair past puberty, and you have a precious gem indeed. Like Olivia. So what if 99% of the blondes in Hollywood are genetically brunettes? All that proves is that natural blondes really AREN'T smart/talented/determined enough to hack it...and also, sadly, that most of the rest of us are just as taken in by fool's gold, going blonde and rejecting our, um, roots. Like Britney. What that yellow mane is really saying to the world, at least in the eyes of most red-blooded Americans, is 'Hey, I'm hot and young and vacant - let's rut!' Well, what did you expect? Sex sells. In the spirit of this un-revelation, I give you this. |